Saturday, February 28, 2009

good things come to those who wait.

I couldn't believe it. this morning when i checked my papal there was $110.00 in it. two very generous people made donations to me for my "get into college fund"! what a great way to start the weekend. it feels so wonderful to know that someone out there believes in be. someone out there thinks i have talent. thanks to those donations i can cross off #'s one and two off my list. I'm sending out the paperwork for my birth certificate today and in about 3-6 weeks i will be able to go get my I.d, SS card and tribal card. i have been waiting for this for so long. good things truly do come to those who wait. here is a picture of me taken with the web-cam. i know its hard to tell but that is my paperwork in my hand stamped and ready to go! Ive also included, for your amusement, a picture of hunter wrestling with her friend Anita.
in other news, my photo shoot is coming up so soon. Ive been working really hard on 3 main dresses I'm going to have in the photos. its been a little difficult getting the time to sew since Hunter is teething and has started a tantrum phase. but a couple hours here and goes a long way. plus, i like to think that those interruptions give me the chance to reflect on the garment and come up with new and better ideas. it usually works out for the best. OK everyone, I'm off to take the bean to a puppet show. enjoy your day, seize all moments and live.

Friday, February 27, 2009

i've either got good karma or i'm damn lucky

everything seems to be coming into place for my portfolio photo shoot. found an amazing photographer who doesn't mind my little rug rat running through the shoot in fact, he will be bringing his along as well. i got three beautiful models i found off of model mayhem who are all as excited about my designs as i am. i even found a hairstylist who is also a makeup artist willing to do the shoot for trade. it feels so good to have people be excited about being a port of my designs. it makes me feel like i am not just another seamstress , another person who makes accessories, another stay at home mom with a dream. it makes me feel like i have something special. it makes me feel like i really have a chance at making something of myself.
as with the shoot everything else in my life is going really well. my partner was injured on the job a couple years ago and was not able to go back to work and because he was in independent contractor he ws not eligible for unemployment. recently it has been vary hard to find work. Portland is suffering and a lot of people are unemployed. luckily we have finally been able to get unemployment after months of talking to machine after machine on the phone. its only $106/wk but it will help. i also got in contact with a really rad mama on craigslist who needs a nanny. she is on government assistance which only pays $2.60/ hr for childcare. i agreed to help her out since i know how it is to be a poor mama. how does the government expect working class mamas to get back on their feet and get back to work after having a baby if they are only willing to pay childcare $2.60/hr not to mention they put you on a deadline and cut off your assistance if you haven't found childcare by then and your not allowed to re-apply for 6 months. i think the system really needs to change its ways when it comes to assistance to families and especially mothers with babies. Back to the subject, so i found this mama and I'm going to nanny for her which should help us out and give me the extra money i need to accomplish my GOALS FOR 2009. i feel really confident that everything is coming into place. every day is filled with possibility so get out there and find it.

ive included a picture of hunter from last night, now try and tell me THAT is not worth fighting for.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

things in working on today

i got up this morning feeling especially chipper so i decided to try to get into my studio ( by studio i mean basement) and get some work done. i have been getting a lot of requests for cuffs so i thought i would try and make more.i also went ahead and made more bows, how can you not like bows? i found some great leather at SCRAP* the other day and i still had burlap and feathers left. i just love the texture of burlap, its my new favorite thing. so here are some pictures of what i have so far. it feels good when i can get something done in the morning and without coffee no less. afterward hunter and i went to the park, saw some goats and jumped in mud puddles. before i had kids i vowed to never be a mud fearing parent. i told myself i would embrace it in all its glory. on that note we came home very wet and muddy. it was worth it.
*SCRAP--The School and Community Reuse Action Project--is a 501(c)(3) non-profit and our mission is to inspire creative reuse and environmentally sustainable behavior by providing educational programs and affordable materials to the community.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

goals for 2009 and other rambings

I am determined to make this my year. the past few years i have been through a lot. i have been side tracked every time i finally think i can pull things together. the first big blow was losing our daughter paikea. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't miss her. it scares me to think that one day i wont remember what she looks like. even now i have to strain to picture her. but i know that i will never forget her memory. i will never forget the strength she gave me. the biggest setback from that was hospital bill. my insurance decided not to cover her hospital stay and left me with a nice $50,000 bill. After paikea passed on we got pregnant with hunter right away, not even 6 weeks later i believe. she has been the light of my life, my motivation , my inspiration. she is all that i aspire to be: carefree, uninhibited, wild. as much as i have enjoyed spending every waking hour with her i feel its time to give myself something. more than anything i want to go back to school. going to fashion school has been a dream of mine since i was a little girl. I've always made my own clothes, sketched designs and altered ever bit of clothing i had. i was never able to wear anything as is. here is my list of what i have to do this year to accomplish my goals. one by one i will check them off. i know it isn't going to be easy. being low (by low i mean no) income has its disadvantages. it seems every time i have the money to get something checked off my list a bill pops up. but this year, I'm willing to let a bill be late to benefit my goals. so here goes!

1- get my birth certificate $30.00: i was born overseas, my hospital doesn't exist and my parents never registered me with the embassy. sheesh! and to top it off recently i was robbed and my ID and birth certificate was stolen. too bad they didn't steal from the right person because when they tried to get a credit card in my name they were denied because i am in debt woohoo!

2- get my ID ,SS card and tribal card $60.00: this should be easy once i get my birth certificate and having a tribal card will really help me out with being able to afford to go to college. well at least its good for something.

3- get my GED and ace it $100.00: i need the above to do this. i switched high schools 9 times because my father was in the military and my parents were in a custody battle over me. some credits didn't transfer, i skipped school a lot, moving was hard as a teenager. I ended up leaving in what was supposed to be 11th grade i ran away from home and went to California, began squatting and traveling. on the upside i think it really helped my self esteem. i really discovered my self those few years. i wish i had a whole different situation in high school but whats done is done. no need to dwell. I'm just going to be strong and carry on.

4-apply for art institute of Portland: apparel design $150: i honestly can not wait. i don't want to go another year of just getting by. i want to do something with my passion if it means sewing in a small boutique living month to month so be it. i would rather be poor and happy than poor or rich and regretful although it would be nice to not have to worry about rent for once.

5- go to art institute of Portland as a fashion apparel student $45,000: I'm hoping i can get scholarships and student loans. either way I'm doing this even if it means working the graveyard shift at some greasy bar to pay it off.

wish me luck! and if you would like to donate to the cause and help a poor mama out click here

crooked bangs, stiff neck

i finished my first shoot and got the pics back. i still have 2 more to do. i'm super excited about the next 2 because i wont be modeling. i have 3 models who will be doing that for me. here is the results of the shoot! i listed some of it for sale on my etsy

Saturday, February 21, 2009

photoshot #1

has my first photoshoot for my design portfolio. i worked with a great photog named brandon. we used the peeling wall in my dining room as the backdrop. i think they came out well. i'm not crazy about my bangs at the end of the shoot. they are very defiant if not combed frequently. here is a pic of said bangs for your amusement.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

the end is nigh. . .

I've been working really hard lately. forcing myself to sit in my sewing room (as long as my 16 month old daughter allows) and create something, anything.. i want something more in my life. i don't want to be a fleeting memory. Friday i have a photo shoot to start my portfolio. I'm excited, nervous. i don't know where any of this is going to lead me. i just hope its not still here.