finally time to write!

i have had quite a few days off lately, yay! it has been overwhelmingly nice to have time to sew, hand out with hunter and play dress up. this week we went to the zoo, i sewed a skirt and a dress, we went to parks, we went out to eat twice and i finally bedazzles my ballet flats.
Bryan made me pose for some pictures because he said i should be proud of what i make and work it lol. i love that boy. we have had some issues lately but he will always be my BFF. i think moving out of our current house will really help us. we need space and calm. our house is filled with passive aggressiveness and pent up frustrations. it is thick in the air.
i have started studying for my GED. i really want to pass with flying colors, and i cant afford a do-over. i take the test in September. woot!
in other news i bought Bryan some bonch chap stick for men. i found it at mixedspecies.etsy.com . these guys are hilarious and amazing. check em out!
i really want some more pen pals so if your out there and love artsy fartsy pen pals lets get together!


PS: does taking pictures of my shoes make me a hipster?

pps: yes my rooms messy i have a toddler get over it

interview with an indie fashion junkie

I've been scouting the inter-web for some of the biggest indie fashion junkies and getting their opinions on what is HOT for spring. for the first of this series i interviewed a fashion expert from my myspace : http://www.myspace.com/indiefashionjunkie and blogger: http://www.indiefashionjunkie.blogspot.com/

1.what is your personal style?
My personal style is always subject to change. I love clothes that makes me feel special. If I had to put myself in a category, I'd say it would be mix between hippie and grunge. I am a slave to vintage, and am heavily addicted to flannels. Shoes make the world go round', and hats are my favorite accessory!

2.what are you predictions for the next trends in spring?
My predictions for Spring/Summer 2009 would definitely have to be bright (Not neon), clean colors and earthy hues. Red has penetrated almost every fashion sphere: clothes, accessories, shoes. It is seen everywhere and in various tones. It will probably influence every look, accessory and style of the other seasons, soon taking over as a cult color. Green was extremely popular with designers this season. The hue is strong but, at the same time, attractive and extremely chic. Gold, but mostly for accessories, such as shoes, belts or handbags (purses and pochettes). Golden accessories look exceptionally luxurious and can be worn with elegant beige or black dresses. Gold color is highly fashionable and reflects and complements a woman’s natural sparkle. Bright yellow and orange are more appropriate for summer, and express the positivity and joy of the strong, determined and confident woman. Who is sure of herself, and her surroundings. She is aware of the fact all the eyes are drawn to her. White is expected to make a major comeback, considering the Little White Dress. But more importantly, shoes will be more than fun to play with. Chunky shoes are definitely in! Booties and ankle boots are still a must. And the shoe every woman should own, Mary Jane's are Sid to turn heads. With stellar colours. Accessories are still a must, and my fave as of now are feathers and headbands. Oh, and chunky necklaces!!!


your top 3 indie designers?
top 5 indie designers are:

- The Beautiful Ones
- Josh Goot
- Jeffrey Campbell
- Mika Michida
- Julia DeVille


and your fav new up and coming designer?
My fave is a toughie it would have to be either Mika Michida, because her magnificent collection of eye-catching creations, seems to be leading her own unique path. With Eco-friendly fashions and innovative designs, the label has made quite a entrance. Or The Beautiful Ones. Argentina has been on the rise in the fashion world for quite some time now, so it should come as no surprise that yet another has emerged from the shadows. The Beautiful Ones have created an amazing collection, and it is only a matter of time before we begin saying they're name exclusively.




**i have to agree with indie fashion junkie mika michida is amazing. my obsession with birds and nests and clean colors combined. stunning!

prima apocalyptica

Ever since my photo shoot i have felt like i finally found my calling , like i finally have a place. mike uploaded some more pictures and i just get giddy every time i look at them. it is so amazing how a model and photographer can take your design and turn it into something so much more. when i create my designs i see this vision in my head and without the model and photographer i would never be able to get that across. OH! I've come up with a name for my new collection :Prima Apocalyptica. i like it.
lately i have been cruising google looking for grants for fashion designers. there really aren't many of them out there but I'm still going to apply to them all. i sometimes wish i would have had the confidence to do this so many year ago. but, everything happens for a reason and without my life experiences my designs probably wouldn't even be a fourth of what they are now.
in other terrifying news i was in Fred Meyers grocery store yesterday and let go of my daughters hand for literally one second only to turn around and she was gone. i started screaming. i have never been so scared in my life. luckily she was hiding around the corner. i swooped her up and gave her a huge bear hug. she is NOT allowed to walk in stores again. I'm strapping her tightly in the ERGO next time. but on the upside a woman in the store said to me with a grimacing look " you look too young to be her mom, what are you sixteen or something" and i retorted "at least when I'm your age ill look twenty right?". it felt good to defend myself and zing some jealous woman after so many ugly stares , snickers and rude comments. seriously! i am 22 i have been with my partner for 5 years. we planned this child. people like that don't care about the facts though. they are self loathing reptiles.
well,enjoy the pictures!

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we suck at bowling but we rule at life!

Wednesday was me and my partners 5th anniversary. wow how time flies! we didn't get to celebrate that night so today we dropped hunter off at the sitters and headed off on our date! on our way out we were pleasantly surprised my our anniversary gift in the mail, awesome transient bag hip pouches! check em out at http://www.transientbags.com/ of course we wore them right away! we biked over to new seasons for some yummy snacks and then on a whim decided to go bowling. yes , i know we act like old people but we love it. after that we headed off to overlook park for a picnic and to watch the trains. after that i was pretty inspired and full of yum so i went into my sewing room and make some lovely things. i managed to sew a lace dress and 4 pairs of earrings in about an hour and half. I'm really a last minute kind of person. i make all my best stuff right before i need it done.
on a whole other note Rosie O'Donnell purchased an art card from my store and i was featured in 3 treasuries on etsy this week. what a great week for me!
here are some pictures of our co-ops pizza night, hunter with a mustache and us bowling our worst game ever.
if you want to be inspired Google skin graft designs. you will be amazed.

my invisible mannequin

I've been trying to force myself to stay in my sewing room so i can get all my work done before the 8Th. i made 2 dresses today and i have no idea how. it is incredibly hard to drape when you don't have a dress form. i have to- try it on, pin, take it off, sew - over and over. i would probably do just about anything for a mannequin right now. or at least a human wiling to stand in my sewing room for a few hours. but id probably have to pay them and well. . .
so the dresses i made today are created from a tan duvet cover, and old tutu and 2 free boxed tanks and a ton of scrap lace. i was really inspired by coral and seaweed and sea creatures. i know the color is not reminiscent of that but the shapes are. i hope it looks good during the photo shoot. I'm really nervous about it. i personally am thrilled about my dresses. the only thing that I'm not satisfied with is that i only have black thread and right now i cant even afford to go buy thread. it looks a little off but I'm hoping i can add some decorative stitching and make it look like i used black on purpose. ahh to be poor, it forces you to be creative. so for all you crafters out there try this: leave all your money behind and go digging around for materials, you may just be surprised at what you can create.

good things come to those who wait.

I couldn't believe it. this morning when i checked my papal there was $110.00 in it. two very generous people made donations to me for my "get into college fund"! what a great way to start the weekend. it feels so wonderful to know that someone out there believes in be. someone out there thinks i have talent. thanks to those donations i can cross off #'s one and two off my list. I'm sending out the paperwork for my birth certificate today and in about 3-6 weeks i will be able to go get my I.d, SS card and tribal card. i have been waiting for this for so long. good things truly do come to those who wait. here is a picture of me taken with the web-cam. i know its hard to tell but that is my paperwork in my hand stamped and ready to go! Ive also included, for your amusement, a picture of hunter wrestling with her friend Anita.
in other news, my photo shoot is coming up so soon. Ive been working really hard on 3 main dresses I'm going to have in the photos. its been a little difficult getting the time to sew since Hunter is teething and has started a tantrum phase. but a couple hours here and goes a long way. plus, i like to think that those interruptions give me the chance to reflect on the garment and come up with new and better ideas. it usually works out for the best. OK everyone, I'm off to take the bean to a puppet show. enjoy your day, seize all moments and live.

i've either got good karma or i'm damn lucky

everything seems to be coming into place for my portfolio photo shoot. found an amazing photographer who doesn't mind my little rug rat running through the shoot in fact, he will be bringing his along as well. i got three beautiful models i found off of model mayhem who are all as excited about my designs as i am. i even found a hairstylist who is also a makeup artist willing to do the shoot for trade. it feels so good to have people be excited about being a port of my designs. it makes me feel like i am not just another seamstress , another person who makes accessories, another stay at home mom with a dream. it makes me feel like i have something special. it makes me feel like i really have a chance at making something of myself.
as with the shoot everything else in my life is going really well. my partner was injured on the job a couple years ago and was not able to go back to work and because he was in independent contractor he ws not eligible for unemployment. recently it has been vary hard to find work. Portland is suffering and a lot of people are unemployed. luckily we have finally been able to get unemployment after months of talking to machine after machine on the phone. its only $106/wk but it will help. i also got in contact with a really rad mama on craigslist who needs a nanny. she is on government assistance which only pays $2.60/ hr for childcare. i agreed to help her out since i know how it is to be a poor mama. how does the government expect working class mamas to get back on their feet and get back to work after having a baby if they are only willing to pay childcare $2.60/hr not to mention they put you on a deadline and cut off your assistance if you haven't found childcare by then and your not allowed to re-apply for 6 months. i think the system really needs to change its ways when it comes to assistance to families and especially mothers with babies. Back to the subject, so i found this mama and I'm going to nanny for her which should help us out and give me the extra money i need to accomplish my GOALS FOR 2009. i feel really confident that everything is coming into place. every day is filled with possibility so get out there and find it.

ive included a picture of hunter from last night, now try and tell me THAT is not worth fighting for.

goals for 2009 and other rambings

I am determined to make this my year. the past few years i have been through a lot. i have been side tracked every time i finally think i can pull things together. the first big blow was losing our daughter paikea. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't miss her. it scares me to think that one day i wont remember what she looks like. even now i have to strain to picture her. but i know that i will never forget her memory. i will never forget the strength she gave me. the biggest setback from that was hospital bill. my insurance decided not to cover her hospital stay and left me with a nice $50,000 bill. After paikea passed on we got pregnant with hunter right away, not even 6 weeks later i believe. she has been the light of my life, my motivation , my inspiration. she is all that i aspire to be: carefree, uninhibited, wild. as much as i have enjoyed spending every waking hour with her i feel its time to give myself something. more than anything i want to go back to school. going to fashion school has been a dream of mine since i was a little girl. I've always made my own clothes, sketched designs and altered ever bit of clothing i had. i was never able to wear anything as is. here is my list of what i have to do this year to accomplish my goals. one by one i will check them off. i know it isn't going to be easy. being low (by low i mean no) income has its disadvantages. it seems every time i have the money to get something checked off my list a bill pops up. but this year, I'm willing to let a bill be late to benefit my goals. so here goes!

1- get my birth certificate $30.00: i was born overseas, my hospital doesn't exist and my parents never registered me with the embassy. sheesh! and to top it off recently i was robbed and my ID and birth certificate was stolen. too bad they didn't steal from the right person because when they tried to get a credit card in my name they were denied because i am in debt woohoo!

2- get my ID ,SS card and tribal card $60.00: this should be easy once i get my birth certificate and having a tribal card will really help me out with being able to afford to go to college. well at least its good for something.

3- get my GED and ace it $100.00: i need the above to do this. i switched high schools 9 times because my father was in the military and my parents were in a custody battle over me. some credits didn't transfer, i skipped school a lot, moving was hard as a teenager. I ended up leaving in what was supposed to be 11th grade i ran away from home and went to California, began squatting and traveling. on the upside i think it really helped my self esteem. i really discovered my self those few years. i wish i had a whole different situation in high school but whats done is done. no need to dwell. I'm just going to be strong and carry on.

4-apply for art institute of Portland: apparel design $150: i honestly can not wait. i don't want to go another year of just getting by. i want to do something with my passion if it means sewing in a small boutique living month to month so be it. i would rather be poor and happy than poor or rich and regretful although it would be nice to not have to worry about rent for once.

5- go to art institute of Portland as a fashion apparel student $45,000: I'm hoping i can get scholarships and student loans. either way I'm doing this even if it means working the graveyard shift at some greasy bar to pay it off.

wish me luck! and if you would like to donate to the cause and help a poor mama out click here