the end is nigh

2009-10-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

things found in boxes from storage

2009-10-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

hand stitched fur and leather hood
goblin hat to match my daughters
newsboy hat for hunter
velvet elven vest hand made from a friend
pictures from long ago
a lice in wonderland on vinyl
bike tools i thought i lost
winter gloves
a bear that made me cry and think of paikea
monopoly: star wars edition
countless shiny things
and lots and lots of mold

what day is it again?

2009-09-17T22:58:00.000-07:00

i feel like i've been asleep for years.

wolf stone

2009-07-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

curried leaves under swollen feet

carry me home

we are the ones who love you, we are the ones to hold you

i am your protector

sweet one, dont scream, it is only a dream

we are here to take you to the stream

lie down in cold cold water

float to the endless laughter

carry me home

carry me carry me carry me

home

sale time , stale time

2009-07-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

i have been in a creative block lately but suddenly i feel ready to burst. first i want to clear out my old inventory ( 50 % off all items! http://www.sproutmama.etsy.com) to make room for more. i always feel it is healthy to go out with the old an din with the new. after july i am donating these things to friends so get em now!

crazy town

2009-07-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

so we moved! we have a new house that is amazingly beautiful. it is big, clean, bright and kid friendly. i started a play group for rad families at my work and i am working on coming up with ideas to save STAR E ROSE. i need to take pictures. i have been so chaotic lately. oh and ive been baking the shit out of pies.
still open for penpals. . .

and art exchange buddies. . .

finally time to write!

2009-06-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

i have had quite a few days off lately, yay! it has been overwhelmingly nice to have time to sew, hand out with hunter and play dress up. this week we went to the zoo, i sewed a skirt and a dress, we went to parks, we went out to eat twice and i finally bedazzles my ballet flats.
Bryan made me pose for some pictures because he said i should be proud of what i make and work it lol. i love that boy. we have had some issues lately but he will always be my BFF. i think moving out of our current house will really help us. we need space and calm. our house is filled with passive aggressiveness and pent up frustrations. it is thick in the air.
i have started studying for my GED. i really want to pass with flying colors, and i cant afford a do-over. i take the test in September. woot!
in other news i bought Bryan some bonch chap stick for men. i found it at mixedspecies.etsy.com . these guys are hilarious and amazing. check em out!
i really want some more pen pals so if your out there and love artsy fartsy pen pals lets get together!

PS: does taking pictures of my shoes make me a hipster?

pps: yes my rooms messy i have a toddler get over it

worker beeees

2009-05-28T22:03:00.000-07:00

i've been so busy having fun, working and playing with the wee one soooo instead of a long post here are some pictures ;)

don't you wish you were my penpal?

2009-05-04T15:45:00.001-07:00

here is a letter i sent my long time pen-pal for his birthday....letters don't always have to be words.
it contains:
a bird skull
acorns i found in santa cruz
a piece of burlap that inspired me to make my last collection
a bottle of home made psychic dream oil that is made of : rose, mugwort and vanilla oils
a sticker from yaelfran on etsy. i love her drawings
a raccoon bone bead
a turquoise bead
a shell from California
a pin of a bee

my absolute favorite thing is sending letters. Christopher is the best pen pal i have ever had. we have been writing each other for i guess 9 or 10 years now. i have boxes of our letters. it is really hilarious to look back at letters from the beginning talking about silly middle school problems or to see the incredible art we created back then. i was so much more angsty back then, my art was better too lol.

oh man. . .

2009-05-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

i'm craving Ethiopian food like there is no tomorrow...injera....mmmmmmmmmmmm

wedding wedding wedding ahhh!

2009-05-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

so i have been vigorously planning our wedding on a very tiny budget with much success! we have $500 dollars ( not in hand mind you we are still saving but hope to have this much haha!) to throw the wedding and we are doing great so far! we booked the location at voodoo donuts for $200. we gave them the $50 deposit and will pay the rest later. voodoo donuts also offered to make out cake tower out of donuts of course! my sister so very generously offered to make the invitations. she is amazingly crafty! i found a few photographers on craigslist who are interested in working for free, i just have to narrow it down. now all we have left is the wedding certificate of course, my dress ( I'm saving my tips for a frocky jack morgan dress!), Bryan's tux ( he could care less what it looks like lol) , the decorations, a band, a tattoo artist (who we will visit after the ceremony for our ring tattoos) and last but not least i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to have a fliptography booth at our wedding ( http://fliptography.net/flipto/flipto.html) but it costs $300 big ones! if anyone is interested in donating decorations, tattoos, a frocky jack Morgan dress, a tux or a fliptogrpahy book i will not protest! well, wish is luck! i think it will be awesome and i am so very excited!

weird dreams

2009-04-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

dream 1: i was in the light rail train going out somewhere with hunter. as i was getting off she runs back on and the door closes and the train pulls off. i start panicking since i don't know how to get her back. a friend of mine tells me that if the CPS gets to her first they wont give her back until i pass all these tests which sometimes takes years. so i spend the rest of the night running trying to catch up to the train.

dream 2: I'm at a house and i break some sort of water pipe that causes the whole house to flood. Bryan keeps calling me stupid

dream 3: I'm going o a porn shop to buy a video camera and something else i don't remember. i am friends with the store owner and she lets me look at other customers files. i pull out the file that looks the biggest and when i open it , it is pictures of my family, me and my sister. i am all freaked out at first because i think it is my dads file. then i realize it is my sisters. at first i was concerned she was a porn addict but then i remembered she sells dildos for a living.

wedding bells

2009-04-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

hay everyone ! i have been so busy working that i almost forgot to tell you all that Bryan and i are finally planning our wedding. we have $500 to spend and only a few months ( we are aiming for august). we have decided to have the ceremony at voodoo doughnuts here in Portland http://voodoodoughnut.com/weddings.php . afterward, we will be having a potluck/ BBQ in the park. we have a lot to do but i am hoping it will all come together. first i have to find someone to help me design/print wedding invitations that i hope to have sent out by the end of may. next i need to find a tattoo artist willing to tattoo our rings on at the ceremony. finally i need to make my dress EEK! i don't even know when i will have time for this. maybe if we have extra i will buy a dress from frocky jack morgan, a local Portland designer. i love her dresses. so hurray for our wedding! hunter is finally big enough, i have an id and we have a little bit of moolah! I'm feeling good these days :)

lalala and a hahaha

2009-04-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

lately my life has been filled with coffee slinging and fabric collecting. i haven't actually had any time to sew so i have been browsing the local free boxes and hoarding fabrics to use later. i have a Lot of visions in my head which i hope will come to surface one day. i have been talking to my mom, who is an amazing crocheter, about getting her to sew a bunch of doilies for me to use in some gowns. i really love crochet lace and the way it looks on bright silks, in my head at least. my ideas for my summer ( since I'm too late for spring) line are summed up in these words
ethereal
pine cones
doilies
tea bags
turquoise
feathers
honey combs
gold beads
it may not make any sense now but wait a few month and be dazzles...i hope :)
here are some amazing photos to be inspired by!

And the winners are. . .

2009-04-12T12:51:00.001-07:00

hay everyone,
i almost forgot to announce the winner of the giveaway. I have been working a lot lately and completely forgot about my super awesome giveaway. thanks to random.org i was able to generate a winner of the "extinct but not forgotten" earrings. CONGRATULATIONS to jodes at http://ontheflume.blogspot.com/ . You won a custom designs pair of earrings. i cant wait to make them! and for the winner of the hair fascinator. No one guessed my favorite post-apocalyptic movie 'a boy and his dog'!!! so i have to go with the runner up is marysgranddaughter at http://marysgranddaughter.blogspot.com/ !!! yay for Mary she guessed my all time second favorite and most inspiring post apocalyptic movie mad max 2 :road warriors. though some of you said mad max i am not all that fond of the first movie road warrior is my fave of the 3 part series ( I'm not saying trilogy because i know there are star wars fans out there reading and god forbid. . .). so i hope you all enjoy your designs i will post them once they are made. happy eggs and bunnies day! and to all the ones who entered but didn't win keep coming back, i will be having another giveaway soon!

save the bees!

2009-04-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Maybe don't try this...

Only about 1,300 plants are grown for foods, spices, textiles, beverages and medicine. Of these, over 1,000 or almost 75% are pollinator dependent. Without pollinators, these items would be hard to come by. If you think you can do without them, guess again! Things like blueberries, chocolate, coffee, almonds, apples, bananas and potatoes all rely on the hard work of pollinators.

Over $40 billion of the US economy is created by pollinating insects such as bees. We are in for some serious food shortages and economic hardships if we don’t help the bees.

Aside from the economic impact, consider that almost 90% of all flowering plants rely on pollinators. Our world would not be as beautiful without the work of bees and other pollinators.

Pollinator conservation is at the core of sustainable agriculture. Each and every one of us is profoundly impacted by the work of pollinators. However, this is often overlooked. Reading this and taking the few small steps outlined below are a great start in helping the bees and all of our pollinating friends!

1) Create a pollinator friendly garden: This doesn’t need to be too fancy, just a few native plants that provide nectar for pollinators is a good start. If possible, create nest boxes for solitary bees. Supply water make sure you don’t treat your flowers with anything that will harm pollinators. For more information on creating a pollinator garden, click here.

2) Stop Pesticide Use: One of the main hardships pollinators are facing is the widespread use of pesticides that are toxic to them. Integrated Pest Management is a great way to curb pesticide usage. Whenever possible, plant flowers instead of grass.

3) Support Organic: Supporting your local, organic farms is a great way to help the bees. Organic farms are a great place for bees and pollinators to forage for nectar without being exposed to toxic pesticides.

4) Educate: Let everyone know how important bees and pollinators are. Teach your children to respect pollinators and explain to them the important role they play in our fragile ecosystem.

5) Hive Relocation: If there is a hive in your area that someone is going to destroy, contact a local beekeeper first to see if they will safely relocate the hive.

6) Get Active: Join one of the many great organizations working to help SAVE THE BEES™!

· Xerces Society

· NAPPC

· Mid-Atlantic Apiculture Research and Extension Consortium

· Heifer International

indie-aholic?

2009-04-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

hay everyone i made an indie swap group on flickr for all you indie/swap-aholics. check it out!
http://www.flickr.com/groups/1101877@N22/

say what?

2009-03-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

I'm gunna do a happy dance now :)

in celebration of all my good luck lately. . .

2009-03-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

<-- (this squirrel is giving the thumbs up!)

I AM HAVING A GIVEAWAY!!!
i have been having such wonderful luck lately with being feature in blogs, being on the front page of etsy and people poking around in my store more. i want to reward one of my fans with a pair of custom made earrings similar to my "extinct but not forgotten" pair in my store. comment on this blog post with your favorite apocalyptic movie and i will throw every ones name into a hat after 2 weeks and pick our the winner. for a bonus the person who posts my favorite apocalyptic movie will win a custom hair fascinator made of lace, burlap and other findings ( it will be fantastic!). once winners are picked i will post the prizes (since one is custom i have to wait for a winner :) )

good luck!

front page again!

2009-03-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

after months of hard work marketing my store, working with Google analytics to improve my SEO, finding photographer and models and improving my overall designs i am finally being recognized. i have worked my butt off and it had paid off! i have been featured on 12 blogs and i was on the front page 3 times in 2 weeks! i am so very excited and proud and i cant wait to keep going! for all of you feeling unnoticed just think i have had my shop for over year without recognition. it takes hard work but hard work pays off!

i have a job!

2009-03-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

minimum wage, part time caffeine dealer at star E rose cafe. need sleep too much coffee too much working tired but restless ugh brain no work must lay head down cant form words.........

sali's funeral and hunters first show

2009-03-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

this is what our family would if we were zombies. . . but don't be confused WE HATE ZOMBIES! I will not hesitate to decapitate any zombie. but if you wanna be a zombie check out the movie FIDO it rules!

last night hunter had her first show ! there was a folk punk show and tell at the black rose info shop. hunter played the recorder flute thing and danced to an accordion. other people showed their awesome treasures which included: teddy ruxby singing slayer, a furby, a giant purse which is also a clock, i picture of Jai In 3rd grade and the shirt she was wearing in the picture found by a friend at the goodwill bins. some people played music and there was general happiness going around. i love this town.

last weekend i went to Sali's funeral in Eugene. i was so nervous i thought i was going to be sick but after arriving i felt just calm. Sali's mother is such a positive force. she is genuinely caring and loving. a lot of old friends were there singing and dancing in memory of Sali. there was also a lot of her art displayed. as i was leaving several of my lady friends cranked up the jams in a car and began dancing in the street. it was wonderful. Certainly dancing with us then.

eek!

2009-03-22T19:07:00.001-07:00

i have no idea how i am going to pay rent. . .

R.I.P sali viva la bruja

2009-03-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

in September of 2008 my friend Sali was found brutally raped and murdered in a secluded cabin near san jose del pacifico , Mexico. sali was a fearless warrior. she traveled alone, played the banjo, fought for justice and equality. sali is my hero. words cannot explain the grief we all feel for her loss. to me sali represents all that is good in the world. she was a truly genuine person. it is hard for me to look at her pictures or say her name without crying. every belly dancer, train spoke, animal bone and shiny object on the side of the road reminds me of her. i dream of her and her death and wake up shaking. she moves me. sali's funeral is this Saturday. it will be the first time i have met her mother. there are so many things i want to say to her but i dont know how. i want to tell her that her daughter is my hero. i want to tell her that her daughter changed so many lives. what a proud mother she must be.
there are so many feelings i have about sali's death. anger mostly. anger that Omar Yoguez Singu will probably serve a couple years and be set free, anger that people say she should have known better, anger that no one heard her screams. i think of that man and i wonder did he know sali? did he know her strength?would he have stopped if he did? why did he do this? i know sali fought back i know she would have never died lying down. i cant fight the images of her death. did she cry? did she beg? was she scared? i tell myself sali is a strong woman .sali would never die without a fight. sali is a fearless warrior. i want to imagine sali as that , a fearless warrior but those images keep coming back.
when i heard of salis death i was preparing for my daughters first birthday. i picked up the phone and my friend statcha said " i need to tell you something and you need to sit down, sali has been murdered" . i instantly fell to the floor sobbing and screaming. i have never felt to much grief. even when my own daughter passed i was sad yes, but i felt at ease knowing she died peacefully, knowing that she died safely and calmly and that i was here for her. with sali it was just pain. he murder was so brutal. no one found her for weeks. and for so long all i could do was read the news article over and over. how could the post her body on the Internet. the blood , the weapon, that man. those images haunt me.
she has forever changed our lives. i dont want sali to see us all greiving though. i know sali would want us to be dancing and smiling. sali did more in her short lifetime than most people do in their whole lives. lets all take a moment to remember sali and enjoy the life we have. make every moment count and never back down. i love you sali, i miss you and i will never stop fighting.

**story of sali's death: http://www.globalexchange.org/countries/americas/mexico/dispatches/6010.html

**sali's memorial website: http://sali-ratty.weebly.com/index.html

**blog about sali: http://barkingzanahorias.blogspot.com/2008/10/sali-marcela-grace-eiler-on-dance-and.html

i need your help!

2009-03-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

i am in dire need of fabrics. being the poor mama i am i can not afford to go out and buy shiny new fabrics and have run out of my current supply of found wonderfulness. i am doing some photo shoots soon and a runway show in the summer and i need fabric to start my collection. if you have scrap fabric, old dresses, an awesome curtain ,anything! i would love to have your donation. i can maybe pay a bit for shipping but i would love to trade for something i make for you. i will also credit you wherever your fabric appears as a benefactor.
fabrics i am looking for:
jersey, silk, organza, anything soft and silky and flowing and also any leather!
colors: Grey, white, orange, yellow, turquoise, royal purple and red and tribal prints!
also tulle and lace of any kind!

I made it!

2009-03-18T18:58:00.000-07:00

it seems i am am finally getting some recognition and i am so excited. most etsiers want to be on the front page and i got on two days in a row. it even generated a few sales for me too! luckily i had just fixed my prices thanks to help from fellow eco-etsier heidiandseek.etsy.com. because of the past few sales i have almost enough to get my GED woo hoo! well, I'm off to go sketch some new designs but no sewing for me until i get my glasses back!

interview with an indie fashion junkie

2009-03-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

I've been scouting the inter-web for some of the biggest indie fashion junkies and getting their opinions on what is HOT for spring. for the first of this series i interviewed a fashion expert from my myspace : http://www.myspace.com/indiefashionjunkie and blogger: http://www.indiefashionjunkie.blogspot.com/

1.what is your personal style?
My personal style is always subject to change. I love clothes that makes me feel special. If I had to put myself in a category, I'd say it would be mix between hippie and grunge. I am a slave to vintage, and am heavily addicted to flannels. Shoes make the world go round', and hats are my favorite accessory!

2.what are you predictions for the next trends in spring?
My predictions for Spring/Summer 2009 would definitely have to be bright (Not neon), clean colors and earthy hues. Red has penetrated almost every fashion sphere: clothes, accessories, shoes. It is seen everywhere and in various tones. It will probably influence every look, accessory and style of the other seasons, soon taking over as a cult color. Green was extremely popular with designers this season. The hue is strong but, at the same time, attractive and extremely chic. Gold, but mostly for accessories, such as shoes, belts or handbags (purses and pochettes). Golden accessories look exceptionally luxurious and can be worn with elegant beige or black dresses. Gold color is highly fashionable and reflects and complements a woman’s natural sparkle. Bright yellow and orange are more appropriate for summer, and express the positivity and joy of the strong, determined and confident woman. Who is sure of herself, and her surroundings. She is aware of the fact all the eyes are drawn to her. White is expected to make a major comeback, considering the Little White Dress. But more importantly, shoes will be more than fun to play with. Chunky shoes are definitely in! Booties and ankle boots are still a must. And the shoe every woman should own, Mary Jane's are Sid to turn heads. With stellar colours. Accessories are still a must, and my fave as of now are feathers and headbands. Oh, and chunky necklaces!!!

your top 3 indie designers?
top 5 indie designers are:

- The Beautiful Ones
- Josh Goot
- Jeffrey Campbell
- Mika Michida
- Julia DeVille

and your fav new up and coming designer?
My fave is a toughie it would have to be either Mika Michida, because her magnificent collection of eye-catching creations, seems to be leading her own unique path. With Eco-friendly fashions and innovative designs, the label has made quite a entrance. Or The Beautiful Ones. Argentina has been on the rise in the fashion world for quite some time now, so it should come as no surprise that yet another has emerged from the shadows. The Beautiful Ones have created an amazing collection, and it is only a matter of time before we begin saying they're name exclusively.

**i have to agree with indie fashion junkie mika michida is amazing. my obsession with birds and nests and clean colors combined. stunning!

job hunting while blind

2009-03-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

today has been a day of validation. i cant count how many comments i got today from people telling me that my designs are great and they think i am selling myself short. i think i will take this all into consideration and really re-think my prices. i have away tried to be as low as possible to draw in people almost to the point of not making a profit but maybe this was turning them off all along. this past month i have become more confident as a designer and really feel like i can make it. right now though i need to find a job and it isn't going to be easy without my glasses. I am sending my old glasses off to eye lenses direct to get 2 new frames i bought off eBay fitted with new prescription lenses. my current glasses are wonky and because i cant afford a new eye exam i have to send them in with the new frames to be scanned. for three weeks i will have to wait without glasses! OK i am not completely blind, but I'm not exactly coordinated without my glasses. i am not looking foreword to the challenge but perhaps it with make me appreciate my eyes that much more. it will be worth the wait for my awesome new frames. i am hoping that my new resume, my beaming personality ( thanks to fresh pot coffee) and my stunning attire will woo potential employers and they will beg me to grace them with my employment.
WISH ME LUCK!

resume, tea cups and sales

2009-03-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

I made a sale today! all of my positive thinking and very low prices payed off. After i make a few more sales i will move my prices above breaking even and into the profit range ooh.
Today was a wonderful day filled with star wars movies, yummy pop corn, resume writing, cute tea cup making and a dinner party followed by vegan chocolate mousse pie. I think i did really well on my resume. i found a designer template and fiddled with it. i have some new exciting job experiences to add now that i am a board member of PCH ( Portland collective housing) and hopefully i will land a wonderful job full of possibility.
I'm most excited about my tea cups. i ordered some rub on stickers from http://www.yaelfran.etsy.com and i bought some lime green tea cups from ikea to put them on. soon i will have a fabulous tea party. i love tiny sandwiches. so here are some pictures of my new tea cups and of my sold dress. goodnight!

prima apocalyptica

2009-03-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ever since my photo shoot i have felt like i finally found my calling , like i finally have a place. mike uploaded some more pictures and i just get giddy every time i look at them. it is so amazing how a model and photographer can take your design and turn it into something so much more. when i create my designs i see this vision in my head and without the model and photographer i would never be able to get that across. OH! I've come up with a name for my new collection :Prima Apocalyptica. i like it.
lately i have been cruising google looking for grants for fashion designers. there really aren't many of them out there but I'm still going to apply to them all. i sometimes wish i would have had the confidence to do this so many year ago. but, everything happens for a reason and without my life experiences my designs probably wouldn't even be a fourth of what they are now.
in other terrifying news i was in Fred Meyers grocery store yesterday and let go of my daughters hand for literally one second only to turn around and she was gone. i started screaming. i have never been so scared in my life. luckily she was hiding around the corner. i swooped her up and gave her a huge bear hug. she is NOT allowed to walk in stores again. I'm strapping her tightly in the ERGO next time. but on the upside a woman in the store said to me with a grimacing look " you look too young to be her mom, what are you sixteen or something" and i retorted "at least when I'm your age ill look twenty right?". it felt good to defend myself and zing some jealous woman after so many ugly stares , snickers and rude comments. seriously! i am 22 i have been with my partner for 5 years. we planned this child. people like that don't care about the facts though. they are self loathing reptiles.
well,enjoy the pictures!

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high as a kite

2009-03-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

i had an amazing day yesterday. the photo shoot went far better than i expected. the models Aimee and Genesey were great, the photographer mike was great and my designs looks fabulous on the models. it felt exhilarating to be called a designer and to see my designs on real models. i can definitely do this for the rest of my life. I'm pretty confident my portfolio will get me the scholarships i need to succeed. mike will be working on the photos for the next few weeks, we did a few shots that need to be photo shopped together because we made the models into twins and triplets. it should be interesting.
as of right now through donations and my own savings i have enough to get my id and birth certificate and half of what i need for my GED. thank you to the two very generous folks who donated, i cant even begin to thank you enough.
so here are a few samples of the first shots in the photo shoot. the model is wearing all my designs except the shoes. long feather and leather earrings, black felt tank, cream tutu, tan leather wavy corset belt. some of these you can find on my etsy at http://www.sproutmama.etsy.com and if you want to see more photos from the photo shoot check out the photographers website at http://largelifephotography.smugmug.com/ under the gallery sproutmama.

we suck at bowling but we rule at life!

2009-03-06T21:02:00.000-08:00

Wednesday was me and my partners 5th anniversary. wow how time flies! we didn't get to celebrate that night so today we dropped hunter off at the sitters and headed off on our date! on our way out we were pleasantly surprised my our anniversary gift in the mail, awesome transient bag hip pouches! check em out at http://www.transientbags.com/ of course we wore them right away! we biked over to new seasons for some yummy snacks and then on a whim decided to go bowling. yes , i know we act like old people but we love it. after that we headed off to overlook park for a picnic and to watch the trains. after that i was pretty inspired and full of yum so i went into my sewing room and make some lovely things. i managed to sew a lace dress and 4 pairs of earrings in about an hour and half. I'm really a last minute kind of person. i make all my best stuff right before i need it done.
on a whole other note Rosie O'Donnell purchased an art card from my store and i was featured in 3 treasuries on etsy this week. what a great week for me!
here are some pictures of our co-ops pizza night, hunter with a mustache and us bowling our worst game ever.
if you want to be inspired Google skin graft designs. you will be amazed.

help hollis get home

2009-03-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

Holli Hawthorne, 31, born and raised in Nashville, TN where she graduated fromAntioch High School in 1996 and Western Kentucky University in 2002 is fighting for her life in the little known town of Pondicherry, approx. 3 hours South of Chennai,India.The victim of a motorcycle accident 5 days ago during a planned month long vacation with boyfriend Harrison Bartlett, of New York, Holli lies in a deep coma in this small rural community that is unable to provide her with the help she needs. In a part of the world where ambulance services and adequate hospital facilities do not exist, Harrison who was riding a separate bike and not involved in the accident, immediately began CPR on Holli for 20 minutes before someone stopped and offered to help.
Carefully placing her in a van while still performing CPR, Harrison and several people of German nationality began a desperate search for anyone who could help keep
Holli alive. A clinic turned them away because they were unable to do anything for her. Another provided bandages but did not have the facilities to help any further. A third stop brings us to where she has spent the last several days, in a small medical facility, in Pondicherry, India, in a deep coma.

This is the story that began to unfold in bits and pieces during frantic phone calls in the middle of the night to Holli's mother, Diane Allison, in Nashville. Diane and her sister, Joy Willis of Mississippi, immediately made arrangements to fly to India and have been at Holli's side since arriving there Saturday afternoon. Holli's condition...stable, and very
critical. Today, after two days of not being able to move her, arrangements were made by the Indian military to transfer Holli to better medical facilities and was relocated to Apollo Hospital in Chennai where they aggressively began running test to evaluate Holli's condition. horrible as it all sounds, the one true saving grace is that God did give Harrison the strength to keep our daughter alive, and for this we are truly grateful. The next step is to med-evac Holli to Stanford University Hospital in California where she will receive the medical attention she desperately needs.The "Help Holli Get Home" blog link below is to provide a way for those who would like to help, to do just that. As I understand it, the expense to fly Holli home is going to cost approx. $150,000, and over $11,000 of that amount has already been collected in under two days. Holli's family will do whatever it takes to get her home, but we do need a lot of help. Please forward this to anyone you know who may want to help bring Holli home.
http://friendsofhollis.blogspot.com/

my invisible mannequin

2009-03-01T23:12:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to force myself to stay in my sewing room so i can get all my work done before the 8Th. i made 2 dresses today and i have no idea how. it is incredibly hard to drape when you don't have a dress form. i have to- try it on, pin, take it off, sew - over and over. i would probably do just about anything for a mannequin right now. or at least a human wiling to stand in my sewing room for a few hours. but id probably have to pay them and well. . .
so the dresses i made today are created from a tan duvet cover, and old tutu and 2 free boxed tanks and a ton of scrap lace. i was really inspired by coral and seaweed and sea creatures. i know the color is not reminiscent of that but the shapes are. i hope it looks good during the photo shoot. I'm really nervous about it. i personally am thrilled about my dresses. the only thing that I'm not satisfied with is that i only have black thread and right now i cant even afford to go buy thread. it looks a little off but I'm hoping i can add some decorative stitching and make it look like i used black on purpose. ahh to be poor, it forces you to be creative. so for all you crafters out there try this: leave all your money behind and go digging around for materials, you may just be surprised at what you can create.

good things come to those who wait.

2009-02-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

I couldn't believe it. this morning when i checked my papal there was $110.00 in it. two very generous people made donations to me for my "get into college fund"! what a great way to start the weekend. it feels so wonderful to know that someone out there believes in be. someone out there thinks i have talent. thanks to those donations i can cross off #'s one and two off my list. I'm sending out the paperwork for my birth certificate today and in about 3-6 weeks i will be able to go get my I.d, SS card and tribal card. i have been waiting for this for so long. good things truly do come to those who wait. here is a picture of me taken with the web-cam. i know its hard to tell but that is my paperwork in my hand stamped and ready to go! Ive also included, for your amusement, a picture of hunter wrestling with her friend Anita.
in other news, my photo shoot is coming up so soon. Ive been working really hard on 3 main dresses I'm going to have in the photos. its been a little difficult getting the time to sew since Hunter is teething and has started a tantrum phase. but a couple hours here and goes a long way. plus, i like to think that those interruptions give me the chance to reflect on the garment and come up with new and better ideas. it usually works out for the best. OK everyone, I'm off to take the bean to a puppet show. enjoy your day, seize all moments and live.

i've either got good karma or i'm damn lucky

2009-02-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

everything seems to be coming into place for my portfolio photo shoot. found an amazing photographer who doesn't mind my little rug rat running through the shoot in fact, he will be bringing his along as well. i got three beautiful models i found off of model mayhem who are all as excited about my designs as i am. i even found a hairstylist who is also a makeup artist willing to do the shoot for trade. it feels so good to have people be excited about being a port of my designs. it makes me feel like i am not just another seamstress , another person who makes accessories, another stay at home mom with a dream. it makes me feel like i have something special. it makes me feel like i really have a chance at making something of myself.
as with the shoot everything else in my life is going really well. my partner was injured on the job a couple years ago and was not able to go back to work and because he was in independent contractor he ws not eligible for unemployment. recently it has been vary hard to find work. Portland is suffering and a lot of people are unemployed. luckily we have finally been able to get unemployment after months of talking to machine after machine on the phone. its only $106/wk but it will help. i also got in contact with a really rad mama on craigslist who needs a nanny. she is on government assistance which only pays $2.60/ hr for childcare. i agreed to help her out since i know how it is to be a poor mama. how does the government expect working class mamas to get back on their feet and get back to work after having a baby if they are only willing to pay childcare $2.60/hr not to mention they put you on a deadline and cut off your assistance if you haven't found childcare by then and your not allowed to re-apply for 6 months. i think the system really needs to change its ways when it comes to assistance to families and especially mothers with babies. Back to the subject, so i found this mama and I'm going to nanny for her which should help us out and give me the extra money i need to accomplish my GOALS FOR 2009. i feel really confident that everything is coming into place. every day is filled with possibility so get out there and find it.

ive included a picture of hunter from last night, now try and tell me THAT is not worth fighting for.

things in working on today

2009-02-26T13:49:00.000-08:00

i got up this morning feeling especially chipper so i decided to try to get into my studio ( by studio i mean basement) and get some work done. i have been getting a lot of requests for cuffs so i thought i would try and make more.i also went ahead and made more bows, how can you not like bows? i found some great leather at SCRAP* the other day and i still had burlap and feathers left. i just love the texture of burlap, its my new favorite thing. so here are some pictures of what i have so far. it feels good when i can get something done in the morning and without coffee no less. afterward hunter and i went to the park, saw some goats and jumped in mud puddles. before i had kids i vowed to never be a mud fearing parent. i told myself i would embrace it in all its glory. on that note we came home very wet and muddy. it was worth it.
*SCRAP--The School and Community Reuse Action Project--is a 501(c)(3) non-profit and our mission is to inspire creative reuse and environmentally sustainable behavior by providing educational programs and affordable materials to the community. http://www.scrapaction.org

goals for 2009 and other rambings

2009-02-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

I am determined to make this my year. the past few years i have been through a lot. i have been side tracked every time i finally think i can pull things together. the first big blow was losing our daughter paikea. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't miss her. it scares me to think that one day i wont remember what she looks like. even now i have to strain to picture her. but i know that i will never forget her memory. i will never forget the strength she gave me. the biggest setback from that was hospital bill. my insurance decided not to cover her hospital stay and left me with a nice $50,000 bill. After paikea passed on we got pregnant with hunter right away, not even 6 weeks later i believe. she has been the light of my life, my motivation , my inspiration. she is all that i aspire to be: carefree, uninhibited, wild. as much as i have enjoyed spending every waking hour with her i feel its time to give myself something. more than anything i want to go back to school. going to fashion school has been a dream of mine since i was a little girl. I've always made my own clothes, sketched designs and altered ever bit of clothing i had. i was never able to wear anything as is. here is my list of what i have to do this year to accomplish my goals. one by one i will check them off. i know it isn't going to be easy. being low (by low i mean no) income has its disadvantages. it seems every time i have the money to get something checked off my list a bill pops up. but this year, I'm willing to let a bill be late to benefit my goals. so here goes!

1- get my birth certificate $30.00: i was born overseas, my hospital doesn't exist and my parents never registered me with the embassy. sheesh! and to top it off recently i was robbed and my ID and birth certificate was stolen. too bad they didn't steal from the right person because when they tried to get a credit card in my name they were denied because i am in debt woohoo!

2- get my ID ,SS card and tribal card $60.00: this should be easy once i get my birth certificate and having a tribal card will really help me out with being able to afford to go to college. well at least its good for something.

3- get my GED and ace it $100.00: i need the above to do this. i switched high schools 9 times because my father was in the military and my parents were in a custody battle over me. some credits didn't transfer, i skipped school a lot, moving was hard as a teenager. I ended up leaving in what was supposed to be 11th grade i ran away from home and went to California, began squatting and traveling. on the upside i think it really helped my self esteem. i really discovered my self those few years. i wish i had a whole different situation in high school but whats done is done. no need to dwell. I'm just going to be strong and carry on.

4-apply for art institute of Portland: apparel design $150: i honestly can not wait. i don't want to go another year of just getting by. i want to do something with my passion if it means sewing in a small boutique living month to month so be it. i would rather be poor and happy than poor or rich and regretful although it would be nice to not have to worry about rent for once.

5- go to art institute of Portland as a fashion apparel student $45,000: I'm hoping i can get scholarships and student loans. either way I'm doing this even if it means working the graveyard shift at some greasy bar to pay it off.

wish me luck! and if you would like to donate to the cause and help a poor mama out click here

crooked bangs, stiff neck

2009-02-25T13:26:00.000-08:00

i finished my first shoot and got the pics back. i still have 2 more to do. i'm super excited about the next 2 because i wont be modeling. i have 3 models who will be doing that for me. here is the results of the shoot! i listed some of it for sale on my etsy http://www.sproutmama.etsy.com

photoshot #1

2009-02-21T09:47:00.000-08:00

has my first photoshoot for my design portfolio. i worked with a great photog named brandon. we used the peeling wall in my dining room as the backdrop. i think they came out well. i'm not crazy about my bangs at the end of the shoot. they are very defiant if not combed frequently. here is a pic of said bangs for your amusement.

the end is nigh. . .

2009-02-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

I've been working really hard lately. forcing myself to sit in my sewing room (as long as my 16 month old daughter allows) and create something, anything.. i want something more in my life. i don't want to be a fleeting memory. Friday i have a photo shoot to start my portfolio. I'm excited, nervous. i don't know where any of this is going to lead me. i just hope its not still here.